Every time I turn around
A hesitant thought in my heart
Trembling words on my lips
I see this empty space and falter;
Reminder forever of a crushing loss.
The mind knows you are gone
But I remain unbelieving
So long as the heart carries within
Even the slightest smidgen of longing;
Undecipherable wordless cries that remain silenced.
There are days when I am better
Not hearing myself echo from deep inside
Chanting your name over and over
From within the void you ripped in me;
De-Void of existence since you left.
Of my few constants, one is gone
I am one pillar short of support
Three I have left to me
And faith alone keeps them standing;
Your gift of faith provides their substance.
Do not mistake my ramblings for weakness
I am stronger than I seem
Master of my feelings
For I know why you left me;
This division was not of your choice.
Would opportunity permit
Much there is that I would say
To you, as I always have
But I know it is not needed;
Our confidant is One Higher and ever watchful.
I take comfort from
Your strength of purpose
I take courage from
Your firm decisiveness;
You have gifted me with your apparent cruelty.
In return I give you
All my love
Should you but accept it
As I give it, in fond hope;
And forget not a once-friend who wishes you Peace.
© Ruth P. – 2016
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